Me and my issue.....

I have avoided this topic for long enough. I avoided it because I didn't want to bitch and moan w/ out an (hopefully) ending insight. And just 5 minutes ago, I got what we are praying is- the ending surgery.

So here is the deal. I have had endometriosis since I was 17 or 18- I can't remember the exact age I was diagnosed at. I have had 2 Laps to burn the Endo and their horrid ahesions. In 2007 I was taken into surgery to remove an 11 (cm or mm) cyst. I came out of surgery w/ only my right ovary and tube left....apparently the cyst was actually a tumor. Thank God it was benign. Then Jan. 09, I had a much needed but not wanted hysterectomy. That surgery was supposed to fix it all. I traded in my chance of having another child or sibling for Blake for what I thought and hoped was relief. Not so much. I really am disappointed to say it didn't work. I have been in pain ever since. I read the message boards that threatened me w/ this ending. They mentioned that hystos were not the cure.....blah blah blah. But I HOPED and prayed it would be for me....and my family.

You see, its not just me that suffers. My son and husband suffer too. Why? because I can't be the best me b/c I feel awful alot. Too much.

So, after much discussion I decided I wanted to go back under the knife....maybe there is still some scar tissue or adhesions that are reeking havoc in there. Maybe just maybe my doc will find the source for all this pain.....pain that makes sleep seem like heaven...pain that brings tears to my eyes......and a sadness to my life that I am done with.

I don't have a date or time yet....but I do have the hope again. So if you are the praying type- pray this works. If not- healing vibes will do just fine.

I promise my next post wil not be so depressing.